ME: I dreamt that I had stigmata of the hands.

HER: You should put that on your profile.

ME: I don’t do that.

HER: What?

ME:  On-line dating and fundamentalists.

HER: Oh.

ME: Why?

HER: I joined Christian Singles.

ME: I thought you were doing Ashton Kutcher’s Kabbalah?

HER: Well since he cheated and Demi had the whole whippet and Red Bull breakdown – I found it’s not all cracked up to what Madonna preached.

ME: Oh.

HER: I am super excited about it! I bought one of those Jesus waffle makers so I can give him the body of Christ.